Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
