I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
