i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
