She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize