Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
