I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
