She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
