Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
