i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
