NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she told me i tasted like america
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
