just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
