Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
