you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
