I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
