and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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