Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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