why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
