what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
