just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Are my feet made of real feet?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
