Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
