Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
