yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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