dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
