you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
