You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I need to calm my uterus...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
