but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
