im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
