I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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