anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
