Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
