Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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