He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
