Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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