He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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