He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
