He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
