Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
