So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
