i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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