I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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