I love having hate sex.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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