At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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