We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
