I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I will be naked everywhere
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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