oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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