My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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