'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You were trust falling into bushes
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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