Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
