Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i now understand why vodka
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
