I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
