I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
