hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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