Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I am mentally ready for anal.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
