My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
