One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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