saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
