Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize