In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
