Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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