Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
